Float Like A Butterfly

My heart is in my shoes. My eyes are on fire. My knees are that of an old sherpa named Greg. I need strings stat and I can't find a doctor anywhere! What does it all mean?
FULL BLOWN TECH WEEK!!!!!!
If I didn't know that the seven people all reading this were somehow intertwined in the theatre community that exists and gossips all across this great land, I could go into how, exactly, my sworn nemesis, GORDON J FUCKING DRIVER! has been hired as our TD. So instead I will just say that I think we have a really good team this year and god willing, we will just take it one game at a time, play hard, and be able to put some points on the board. I mean come on man, we talkin' about practice?That these acts of agression will not stand,man. D'oh! These evildoers will be brought to justice. It was a wardrobe malfunction and that you are still in the running to be america's next top model. You're fired!

Only twelve more days until this nonsense begins. Are you in?

And, in the words of Big and Little Harape-

Girl You Know I Love You,
Girl Don't Make Me Cut You.