And Into Every Life, A Little Rain....

So as I move farther and farther into the situation I currently find myself in, there are small things that keep it all in perspective.

Coffee with a good friend.

A lite rain.

November finally coming to Austin.

Eating at Luby's with Maw-Maw for her 85th birthday.

And last, but not least,

WATCHING THE MIGHTY SPURS WHIP YET MORE MORTAL B-BALL ASS ON THEIR WAY TO ANOTHER NBA TITLE!


I can't believe I'll be back next week. NYC will not be the same, ever, for me for a multitude of reasons.
Some good, some the bums on the streets. But that's life now, innit?
more to follow.
drinks and jukebox and pool await.

Down From The Mountain

"Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes, well, he eats you...."

It's A Long Way Down

Suffice it to say, I have lost everything.
And by everything, I mean everything.
I'm down to my last $500.
My Jeep is el fucko grande.
My Ipod is up someone's nose.
My play has been a emotional and physical drain and it's killing me.
And most importantly, my heart is the bums on the streets.
I won't get into details because people deserve and warrant better than
a fucked up and self congratulatory forum like this.
but when you walk around in circles all night and listen to stumblin' and
cryin' country songs while physically feeling your heart leave your body
and the only thing you can push yourself to do is order another round of beer while the
all star country musicians play on,
then maybe typing a little bullshit typey type ain't so bad.
but in the middle of all that came a revelation.
I'm one fucked dude.
i hate myself and i always have.
i have no self worth because i never gave any to myself.
i let other people do it for me.
i can't accurately judge anything about me anymore.
and that is why, dear readers, i am officially done.
i'm turning in my badge.
fork inserted.
turn me over
spit me out.

all you can do sometimes is laugh.
fuck that shit.