I got some shit to say. And I'm lazy.

Monday, November 14, 2005

It's A Long Way Down



Suffice it to say, I have lost everything.
And by everything, I mean everything.
I'm down to my last $500.
My Jeep is el fucko grande.
My Ipod is up someone's nose.
My play has been a emotional and physical drain and it's killing me.
And most importantly, my heart is the bums on the streets.
I won't get into details because people deserve and warrant better than
a fucked up and self congratulatory forum like this.
but when you walk around in circles all night and listen to stumblin' and
cryin' country songs while physically feeling your heart leave your body
and the only thing you can push yourself to do is order another round of beer while the
all star country musicians play on,
then maybe typing a little bullshit typey type ain't so bad.
but in the middle of all that came a revelation.
I'm one fucked dude.
i hate myself and i always have.
i have no self worth because i never gave any to myself.
i let other people do it for me.
i can't accurately judge anything about me anymore.
and that is why, dear readers, i am officially done.
i'm turning in my badge.
fork inserted.
turn me over
spit me out.

all you can do sometimes is laugh.
fuck that shit.

7 Comments:

Blogger la Ketch said...

not everything! you haven't lost everything! don't tempt fate. it can always get worse... but probably it will get better. buck up t-dawg. it will be okay. i promise.

12:24 PM

 
Blogger Maxwell said...

Wait, don't go away t dawg! Come back! Come back!

We're all waiting for you at Fountain and Fairfax.

1:27 PM

 
Blogger Brikin Blog said...

Yes we all waiting for in the 'garden too. We miss you and love you. just get your cute butt back here and we'll throw you a party.

Sorry things are hard.

4:43 AM

 
Blogger Spektonomicron said...

If I had a nickle for every time I was down to my last $500 dollar, well, I'd never get down to my last five hundred dollars. But then the nickles would stop flowing in, and I'd be broke again. Arrggg! You're right. Life is a vicious cycle. I'm throwing in the towel.

PS I'll buy you a beer when you get back.

7:45 AM

 
Blogger Roar Power III said...

t-dawg is the straightest shooter i've ever had the privilege of knowing. this kid is integrity personified. one of the kindest and most dependable friends i've ever had in my life. This is one of the most grueling and unrewarding paths we've chosen to stomp down. its ok, when things go to shit. they're sort of supposed to if you're an "artist" in america (w/o the trust fund). i have more respect for t-dawg every day. and so should you all. as daniel j might say. Keep Punchin' Joe!

(come home soon, brklyn misses you)

12:29 PM

 
Blogger kris marie said...

come back to Brooklyn T-dawg! you're missed and loved - feel the love and don't let the bar eat you.

5:42 PM

 
Blogger dup said...

Ah, brother, you're killing the Duper. Come on back to Brooklyn. Drink the Lone Stars in the Empire State.

7:22 PM

 

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