I got some shit to say. And I'm lazy.

Friday, October 28, 2005

A Letter To The Muther Fuckers That Stole My Jeep


Dear Muther Fuckers Who Stole My Jeep-
I hope you are enjoying the 1989 Jeep Cherokee that I bought with my hard earned money seven years ago. I hope that you are also enjoying the mixes I made on my Ipod whilst you are driving MY fucking Jeep around East Austin. Please check out 'Gas Station Quarters' or 'Christmas In Heat', two, may I dare say, completely bad ass, top flight mixes I made to rock out to while I was tooling around town. Or even my generically titled 'Austin Mix' for the gym. You are impressed are you not, Mr. Muther Fuckers? I hope you are enjoying the good brakes and clean interior and notice the poster for my show, AMERICAMISFIT, laying on the backseat. I could get you a two for one ticket price this weekend if you like, Muther Fuckers. It's a damn fine show and I know you would be intrigued. I also hope you enjoy the clean scent provided by my Virgin Mary scented air freshner. Funny, right? Cuz that's what ole' T-Dawg is, if nothing else, a funny, funny man.

In fact,I hope you are so impressed with the wicked bad assness of my ole' beat up Jeep that you spontaneoulsy combust from all the excitement and then die a fiery death at the hands of that real bitch, karma. I also hope that when this happens you had the foresight to remember to wear clean underwear! Don't embarass your mother, Muther Fuckers! What would Mother Muther Fucker say if she knew you weren't wearing clean undies when you spontaneously combusted while driving another man's car? You were raised better than that! Come on, Muther Fuckers!

My opening night is tonight and you have already guranteed me one hella bad case of nerves. I will definitely be wearing a clean pair of underwear. Because you see, Muther Fuckers, I know for a fact that I was raised right. Unlike you, you cuntsnakelowdowndirtyassfuckingbendajo. Pardon me. I digress.

So, to wrap up:Messieurs Muther Fucker, go fuck yourselves.

Yours truly and sincerely,

T-Dawg

11 Comments:

Blogger mazy said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:09 PM

 
Blogger dup said...

You're jeep was stolen and now you've been spamed! Goddamn.

2:02 PM

 
Blogger tdawg said...

Story of my life, Dup. A kicked man while down.
Drink up buddy boy.

3:51 PM

 
Blogger Maxwell said...

Oh no! Break a leg with the opening. And Karma, she is a bitch.

12:12 PM

 
Blogger Brikin Blog said...

Break a leg T-DAWG!

Geez, I'm so sorry about your jeep.

6:38 AM

 
Blogger Dave Rogers said...

Hey loser, sorry to hear about the jeep getting stolen. At least it wasn't the neon blue chevy truck you drove around Austin. what happened to that, by the way?

And you bastards ( you too, Maxwell-Scott) can't hide from internet morons like me who work on computers all day. Miss you people!!!

Dave Rogers (daverogers34@yahoo.com)
Houston Texas
survived acting classes and gave up on theatre.

2:01 PM

 
Blogger Adam said...

So sorry about the jeep. Is that true or is it humorous fiction? Break Legs!

2:35 PM

 
Blogger la Ketch said...

did they find it yet?

7:57 AM

 
Blogger Spektonomicron said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:47 AM

 
Blogger Spektonomicron said...

Dr. KeYorkian,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Just try to take things one day at a time.

On the other hand I am so happy to have found your blog. I currently have one of those temp jobs where you do nothing, and on the rare occasions when someone actually does ask you to do something, it's done in this really unobtrusive and apologetic way,as though they hate to have to pull you away from your more pressing work, which is surfing the internet. So your blog is a welcome distraction.

I may just start a blog of my own...

12:17 PM

 
Blogger Brikin Blog said...

This is totally unacceptable.

post dammit post!

8:49 PM

 

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